he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
