tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
