Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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