The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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