If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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