I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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