Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
