well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
