Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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