i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
