She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
