dude i'm inner monologue high
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
