The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
