you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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