I think I am morally bankrupt
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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