so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
