My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
