Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
