Pants 0. Shit 1.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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