Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
