if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
