can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
