he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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