there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
not ubering you a puppy
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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