sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
