Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
