this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
