i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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