Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
