So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
