I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
