whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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