:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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