i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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