In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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