Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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