So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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