I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
All the doctor said was why
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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