At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
