chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
