I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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