her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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