Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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