when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
