I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
