I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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