do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
