Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
