how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
