Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
