oh god the rape fog is back!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
